If not New York City, I'd rather die

New York City

Boredom leads to desires, which leads to vices. I particularly like this phrase because it encapsulates the perilous progression of idle minds. When one finds themselves in a state of ennui, devoid of meaningful engagement, the mind seeks stimulation, often manifesting as desires for instant gratification or excitement. These desires, when left unchecked or unfulfilled, can spiral into vices, as individuals seek increasingly intense experiences to alleviate their boredom. Whether it be through indulgence in substances, reckless behavior, or harmful habits, vices become a seductive escape from the mundanity of boredom, offering fleeting satisfaction at the expense of long-term well-being and fulfillment. 

A few months ago, I experienced a breakup. It certainly was not an easy one. Living in a place with no close friends or family, my ex was all I had. So when we parted ways, I found solace in maladaptive coping mechanisms, primarily characterized by excessive drinking and subsequent depressive episodes. I would drink almost everyday, to a point where my academic standings as a medical student were beyond jeopardized; I was put on a suicide watch by the school for some time and was forced to attend a number of mandated therapy sessions. Obviously, my drinking habits took a toll on me physically as well; alcohol alone led to a weight gain of 15 pounds in just a few months. Despite attempting various distractions to shift my focus from thoughts of my ex, none proved effective.

Then one night while I was drinking, I reminisced about a conversation I had with a best friend in Seoul. He reminded me that countless Koreans attempt to move into the city of Seoul to pursue success. He then suggested that in a similar vein, I should strive for success and attempt to move into cities like New York City (NYC). Reflecting on this advice, I assessed my current situation. It became evident that given my current mental and physical state, I was nowhere near ready to make the move to NYC.

The world is a cruel place; its cold reality doesn't extend a hand to losers. As I sat alone in my room, drowning myself in box after box of soju and whiskey, I found myself slowly slipping into the loser category. Though reluctant to admit it, I was simply giving in to boredom, indulging in desires and vices as a consequence. I was merely seeking instant gratification, making excuses to be lazy, all while hoping for a stroke of luck that would magically transport me to NYC someday. Something had to change.

Firstly, I needed to cut down on alcohol consumption. I restricted myself to drinking only on weekends to enhance my productivity. In addition to managing schoolwork, I committed myself to multiple research labs during weekdays, adopting a workaholic mindset, so I could be an alcoholic on weekends. Furthermore, I reintegrated daily workouts into my routine, making it a habit to exercise twice on days when I planned to drink. Amidst all this, I found myself repeating everyday, "If not New York City, I'd rather die."

If you have my read previous blog writings, you might have picked up that I truly love NYC. For those who have not, here are the reasons. This city stands as a testament to human ingenuity and cosmopolitan charm. From the towering skyscrapers that pierce the sky to the bustling streets alive with a symphony of sounds and sights, every corner of this metropolis exudes an undeniable magnetism. The city's iconic skyline, adorned with the sparkling lights of Times Square and the majestic silhouette of the Empire State Building, casts a spellbinding spell on both residents and visitors alike. As you navigate the labyrinthine streets, you can see each neighborhood reveals its own unique character and charm, from the historic cobblestone lanes of Greenwich Village to the chic boutiques of SoHo. Beyond its architectural wonders, NYC pulsates with cultural richness, boasting world-class museums, theaters, and galleries that celebrate the diversity and creativity of its inhabitants. Whether walking through Central Park's lush greenery or savoring a slice of pizza in Brooklyn, there's an invisible magic that permeates the air, making NYC a symbol of dreams realized and adventures yet to unfold. 

Now, as you are reading this, you might wonder: "Why is he only talking about NYC? Why not cities like LA, Chicago, or Boston?" For starters, I'm going to disregard cities in the southern states because, in my opinion, they are simply inferior. Any city in the southern states is not even worth discussing because the quality of living is miles below cities like LA, Chicago, or Boston. I'm speaking from the perspective of a Korean, so I'm aware that my viewpoint is highly biased. However, you can ask any Korean (not Korean-American; there's a significant difference), and they will overwhelmingly agree that cities in the south are just not the best for Koreans. So why not LA, Chicago, or Boston? This is my mindset: I shoot for the stars, so if I don't grab them, I can at least fall on top of cities like LA, Chicago, or Boston, which are secondary options.

Anyway, with this integrated thought of "If not New York City, I'd rather die," I have been in a better state. Now, I look at nothing else but NYC as my end goal. This will serve as my motivation through medical school, so that I can hopefully secure a residency in NYC and start living there before I become a full-time physician.

Before I conclude, I would like to share this message with single people: "Success is the best revenge." No matter how difficult the breakup was, do not give in to your ex-partners. They may already be with someone else, seemingly happy and not thinking about you. If this stirs up negative emotions in any way, the best response is to strive for success. By being successful and achieving your goals, you not only surpass your ex but enhance your overall life satisfaction.